So It Did

I've been writing and dreaming about rain for a week prior.


So it did.


I should have heeded and listened--I should have prepared.


I'll do what I can.


I promise.


Now, I put aside things for another time.

Steadfast

You know how He said that you should be steadfast and true? Why is it then, that when you are, you are accused of being emotionless and that your speech is devoid of feeling? 


Why is it that when you choose to be strong in light of what you truly want to achieve, They become inconstant and wavering? 


You say my eyes can be empty, but you do not see that they reflect only yours and that they hold the world for you.  That these eyes see straight through to you and that they hold nothing but love.


When I was young, I was nothing but emotion. Now that I am a man, I choose to commit and to act.


You may say that love is a feeling.  I believe that love is a decision--that it is a choice.


Whatever happens from here on in. I will not waver from that which I have set my heart on nor will I ever forget my own reasons.


You asked me how I knew, I shrugged and said there are times when you just know and somewhere inside you irrevocably decide as you've recognized your other. You said it was the same for you.


Whatever challenges this day brings, I tell you, I remain steadfast and true.  I show you, that I love you.

Coral: This was one of my favorite fairy tales when I was a small boy. In the introduction, the narrator enthuses: 


     "All the soldiers looked exactly alike except one. He looked a little different as he had been cast last of all. The tin was short, so he had only one leg. But there he stood, as steady on one leg as any of the other soldiers on their two. But just you see, he'll be the remarkable one."


Be steadfast and true when you find her. It will see you through.

Leave The Rain Behind

What do you do when your socks get soggy from walking in the rain? Do you take them off, or do you squish and squish until you get home?


What do you do when you bend down to check your shoes and find scuff marks all over them? Do you use a Sharpie and smile? Or do you just shrug and walk off?


What do you do when someone tells you that something is lacking? When deep inside you're screaming and screaming?


What do you do when you're called to write and nothing comes out but a cry of anguish?


Here's what you do.


You take a bath and scrub with salt (or baking soda).


You reset.


Fresh socks, clean shoes, and you start running towards what your heart desires.


You leave the rain behind.

It Can't Rain All the Time, Jain Siberry

Jane Sibbery is playing right now and she's just finished singing that 'it can't rain all the time.'
And on cue, the rain did stop. Now it's going to rain over there I bet.


Jane Siberry - It Can't Rain All the Time


[SPOKEN:]
We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.

[SUNG:]
I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to belive in?
Or is this all there is?

In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.

Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still belive.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea against which we see
our darkest of sadness.

Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall
forever.

Remember that Men think in terms of boxes. Things can be boxed up and put away. Boxes can fit into other boxes. The boxes may not even have to touch.


Women think in terms of wires. Everything touches. All the wires are connected.


These wires have a tendency to pierce the boxes.

Rain.


Crying.


Tears.


Fall.


Life is best expressed without misery.


And yet I drown and drown.

Assess

I guess it is true that at times you do have to stop and assess.  Is it a decision or is it a feeling? And if so, what is the difference?

You save the world by not being sad and being your usual cheerful self; when you're of good cheer, flowers spring up in secret places to be enjoyed by adventuring children.

You've Always Been Right

The day the aliens landed, I took it back and told you, you were right.
After they had taken the best of us and most of the water, you said we would overcome.
After they had herded us and kept us apart, the last thing you said was you'd see me again.
After they had taken my eyes and broken me to take away the memory of you, 
I thought you but a dream or a scrap of a painting seen once as a small child.
The only thing left was the color of your hair and the feel of a whispered hope.
The only thing left was a submission, but not to them.


The day you broke through and held me while I cried, you told me I was right.
You repeated what I said, that my stories were what saw us through.
I doubted you then, as their ships left one by one, I doubted as I could only hear.
But you held me close, until the shaking and the screaming left me. 
You held me fast even after all the stories had left me.
You brought water to my lips even as my fingers could not even trace 
The shape of your face nor feel the fall of your hair.


After the last of them had left, the day I died you, you said I would see you again, 
And I doubted.  Even as the darkness was replaced by an unfolding of light
And the stories started coming back, I doubted, oh how I doubted.
But then the memories of you filled the gaps, your face filled the spaces.
The day I died, I did see you cry. I did see a part of your fear that maybe 
You would not see me after all. I have no mouth to speak nor hands to write,
I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to know that all is well.


That you've always been right. That even after this world has ended 
And we've taken to the stars, that our stories will see us through. 
And that even now, as you lead the rest to chase them,
I want you to know you've always been right, and that what doubt you have 
Is but proof of a larger story.  That even as the earth dies we will still carry
The stories. That our children's children will have cause to hope.
That what has always set us apart from them is the rightness of our love.

Soulmate Stories?

Is there such a thing as a soulmate story?  Have I been hopping about on a single leg far too long?


Remember how I used to share that we get into relationships for two reasons? These two lessons kept repeating themselves from dreaming to scarring.


One, is because we have to finish something that we didn't learn fully in that past life with them.


The second, is because we are meant to learn something with this person in the now.


If that's true, then what is a soulmate?


Then again, how can there not be such a thing as a soulmate, as everyday that we are apart--my heart roams through the wild earth in the whisper of prayers and fords this distance to see you, if but only to breathe?


If it is true then that we are meant for someone...


Why is it my heart is calm but waterfall-loud when beside yours?


You say it may just be a justification to be in and out of relationships. These two methods to learn. You may be right after all. Tell me, what then is the truth to having a twin soul? No don't tell me, it may already be in your eyes.

[Primeval man] could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast …Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods ... Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: 'Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg.'

—Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate

I Beg To Disagree

I beg to disagree with you, it's not words that are cheap, it's talk that is. It's talk that is not backed up by the walk. Worth less than a smirk or a turn of the lip. There's a cliché right there: 'Talk the talk, walk the walk.'

For a long time I would preach, literally preach, against the using of clichés. I've learned now, from you, not to discount what is essential in them. I see now what you mean when you say these lessons are pulled from somewhere. May pinaghugutan. May pinanggagalingan. Hopefully I spelled that right.

These clichés are rooted in truths, you're right about that. These statements are built on words that are straightforward and have no artifice. These words carry weight. These words have value. They are a form of action when taken for their worth.

On the other hand, it's when used with worthless talk, that these statements become trite. That the words used become so much drivel.

That makes sense.

So be it. Saying, "I'm sorry" is rooted in truth. Saying it over and over is cheap--the talk of it, that is. The action, on the other hand, makes sense. That is true.

The butterflies have signaled veracity.

I will talk less and will walk with you more.

Well Then.

I'm learning now that to be a fool is the easiest thing to do.

I've learned tonight that the fear we hold on to is a fool's mask best left unmade.

I am humbled.