"How long 'til my soul gets it right, can any human being ever reach that kind of light?"
-Galileo, Indigo GirlsThe capacity to endure seems to be directly proportional to the capacity for suffering. One Psychology lesson I remember very clearly is that pain is a personal thing. That, people suffer pain differently and individually. A pinprick for one person may be anguish for another. Does it follow then that the capacity for feeling or sustaining 'love' is the same? I conjecture to link the two concepts.
This scenario was placed before me in the past in discussion to which type of relationship scenario is optimal:
A) You love the other person more than they love you,
B) The other person loves you more than you love them,
C) Or the above choices are re-stated but according to sex (e.g. boy loves girl more than girl loves boy).
Link this with the terms: endure, suffer, sustain, and feeling and you'll be in a virtual quagmire. Based on experience, I think the whole thing stinks. Being philosophical about who loves who more and who can handle who's crap more so, is akin to arguing who gets which chicken part come carving time. You should be happy about getting any chicken at all in the first place.
I may be able to endure more pain because of what you put me through and you may know it--but so what? It still hurts. You may have shown more love in the past--but so what? Are you showing it now? While it may be important to understand that the person is in pain and it may be of value to acquiesce and leave them be--what about the fact that time does not stop? Those days wasted arguing or regretting back and forth should have instead been spent in striving for something better. In the same way, internally fretting about who loves who more is time better spent praying for that person's health and well-being don't you think?
Is it really about who has the capacity to love more and then whether it should be the man or the woman who is more enduring or long suffering? Are these plus points in heaven? No, they are not.
If you believe in reincarnation then you will have an eternity to get it right. What a waste of time that would be. Don't you agree? Clarity comes from acceptance. The acceptance that when you are in a relationship your own love will be tested. And with that acceptance must come the humility to offer it up--no matter what happens next.
This scenario was placed before me in the past in discussion to which type of relationship scenario is optimal:
A) You love the other person more than they love you,
B) The other person loves you more than you love them,
C) Or the above choices are re-stated but according to sex (e.g. boy loves girl more than girl loves boy).
Link this with the terms: endure, suffer, sustain, and feeling and you'll be in a virtual quagmire. Based on experience, I think the whole thing stinks. Being philosophical about who loves who more and who can handle who's crap more so, is akin to arguing who gets which chicken part come carving time. You should be happy about getting any chicken at all in the first place.
I may be able to endure more pain because of what you put me through and you may know it--but so what? It still hurts. You may have shown more love in the past--but so what? Are you showing it now? While it may be important to understand that the person is in pain and it may be of value to acquiesce and leave them be--what about the fact that time does not stop? Those days wasted arguing or regretting back and forth should have instead been spent in striving for something better. In the same way, internally fretting about who loves who more is time better spent praying for that person's health and well-being don't you think?
Is it really about who has the capacity to love more and then whether it should be the man or the woman who is more enduring or long suffering? Are these plus points in heaven? No, they are not.
If you believe in reincarnation then you will have an eternity to get it right. What a waste of time that would be. Don't you agree? Clarity comes from acceptance. The acceptance that when you are in a relationship your own love will be tested. And with that acceptance must come the humility to offer it up--no matter what happens next.
3 comments:
I like this
"Those days wasted arguing or regretting back and forth should have instead been spent in striving for something better".
You can look at that in so many different ways, I cannot track how many hours of sleep I've lost pondering the same thing.
I'd be good with whatever as long as whatever felt good...I dont find any profit in loving someone more than they love you. -I think that once you get that notion, you're screwed anyway. In the reverse, being loved more than you love? Man, if you know within yourself that you are guilty of that?
To "love someone less" that you know loves you? tell me shut up if I am wrong -is not love.
You do, or you dont and your just lying.
Thanks cuz, I read 1 Corinthians 13and totally agree...does my comment on this prove otherwise.
Sorry to over comment,great entry man.
hear hear my friend.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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